Bella: So, I had a weird night. Alex told me to get in his room to kill a (teeny tiny) spider. When I got in there, he was standing on his bed with a belt and the spider was (on the other side of the room) on his desk. * Then I heard Dad yell, "I stepped in poo!"  And then you (me) laughed. 

*yes. The teeny tiny harmless spiders are quite deadly in these parts.