Greek Life, Greek Wife

 Apparently, my husband, RT, is teaching a class on, "How to Get a Greek Wife."  

I made a suggestion that he should just dab a little of the vinegar behind his ears instead of bathing in it.  Maybe throw in a little olive oil for luck?

Seats for this class are going quickly, so, you better sign up soon.

I think the second lesson has to do with oregano.

Translation:

RT broke a bottle of balsamic vinegar this morning.  I came home from my morning walk to a REALLY strong vinegar scent in the house.  RT did clean up the vinegar mess, but his socks absorbed quite a bit of the Greek love potion vinegar.  I bought a new bottle of balsamic vinegar and require supervision for RT when he is near the bottle.

When You Work in Retail

 I have a few more funny weird  strange  stories to record.  Just some interesting incidents that happened at work that can't be classified as Karen stories.  I found them to be amusing and thought I would share them with you.  Here we go:

During my stint as a Walmart greeter:

A customer walks in to the store.

Me:  Hello.  How are you?

Customer: Right now?

Me:  Sure.  How are you right now?

Customer:  I don't know.  And, I don't think I want to know.

A customer walks into the store:

Me:  Hello

Customer:  Thank you.

A customer walks into the store.

Me:  Hello

Customer:  No kissing because of Covid.

Me:  I'm not afraid of Covid.

Same customer as he's leaving, handing me his shopping cart:

Customer:  Now, remember, no licking the carts.

Me:  Aww, you just ruined my fun for the day!

Every week like clockwork, there is a woman who pulls up and hauls a large trash bag (or three) and tosses it into the public trash can in front of our store.  She drives a nice SUV so I'm assuming she has a home.  I'm not sure what the attraction she has with public dumping.  Does she get a thrill from it?  Maybe she's trying to hide something?  A shopping addiction?  Scratch off tickets?  An addiction?  A drinking problem?  Corn nut addiction?

A woman came in to the store, her first time visiting.  I started describing the store to her.  She told me that she wanted to discover the store on her own.  As she was leaving, I noticed she made a purchase.  I told her I was happy she found something today.  She told me I was very sweet and if I say the word, she will go get me a cup of coffee.  I politely declined and thanked her and told her that she was my new best friend.

And, I will leave you with this last story.

I was at the register and asked the customer to press the red button on the pin pad.  The customer told me that he didn't want to press the button because of germs (we have hand sanitizer and we clean the pin pads between customers).  When I tell him the total of his purchase he pulls out his wallet and proceeds to hand me dirty  cash to pay for his transaction.  He told me to keep the change ($0.01) and left without using any hand sanitizer. 

My Inheritance

 I know that my last post on my inheritance was quite troubling.  You can read all about it here.  

I never thought I would be in this position.  Running out of  money  dental floss.  Nothing like taking the time to plan for your retirement and saving up every penny dental floss container that you can get your hands on.  Only to wake up one day and find out that you are all out of money  dental floss.  

Well, good news everyone!  I found two containers of dental floss in a drawer.  I was quite excited to see them and have squirrelled them away.  I'm pretty sure that these two containers might hold me over until I can get the GoFundMe set up.  

My Inheritance

 It's a sad, sad day.  My inheritance is spent  disappeared  is gone!

I really thought I would go on forever and maybe even leave some for my children.  But, no, that's not the case.  It's gone forever!

I had extra stashed away, you know, because of the kids.  I was all set.  Ready for retirement.  I thought I was looking at never, ever having to worry about   money  dental floss for the rest of my life.  

But, the sad day arrived when I used the last of my inheritance  dental floss.  

I will be setting up a GoFundMe account to provide dental floss to last me into retirement.  Please look deep into your heart and consider making a donation.

Thank you.

Mask Pick Up Lines

From the looks of things, masks might be around for a little while longer.  Who would have thought that we would be wearing masks everywhere?  And yet here we are, almost one year later, wearing plain or colorful masks over our face.

Wearing a mask and trying to flirt must be difficult.  I thought I would try to help out all of the single people out there.  I mean, it must be tough to find a date when you have to keep a six foot distance from people.  And trying to talk to people with a mask on isn't as easy as it sounds.  When you finally do get within that six foot range, how do you strike up a conversation?

If you are single and in the dating scene, I came up with a list of pick up lines that might help you break the ice.  Now, I haven't tried out any of these lines so I can not guarantee that they will work.  If you do try any of the lines and they work, let me know!

Let's get started:

"I saw you from across the room in that sexy mask and had to come over and say hello."

"That mask shows off your sexy nose cleavage."

"What are you hiding behind that lovely mask of yours?"

"Can I peak behind your mask?"

"I'd like to get you alone and slip off that mask."

"Is that your nose in your mask or are you just happy to see me?"

"Lets go someplace where we can slip out of our masks."

"I think your mask is getting thicker."

"Hey baby, I think you left your mask on my nightstand."

"That mask just oozes sexiness."

I think there is quite a variety of lines that you can use on that list.   Try them  out and see which line works best for you.

I really hope these pick up lines help you.  If you can think of any other pick up lines to add to the list, let me know in the comments!

The Ice Cubes

I have several posts about ice cubes and ice cube trays.  You can read about how to make ice, how the kids forgot how to make ice and RT's impatience and possible YouTube tutorial on the subject.  I guess I'm here to say that none of the ice tutorials have worked in our family.

The other day RT went to get some ice and it started all over again.  

"Am I the only one who makes ice around here?"

"It isn't that difficult to make ice!"  

"If you see that the ice is getting low, empty the trays, refill them with water and place them back in the freezer!  It's that easy!"  

I happened to be sitting in the dining room enjoying a glass of water (without ice).  I had to chime in and mention that I have not been using ice.  Luckily my Yeti keeps my water nice and cold (thanks, Nick!).  There is only one other person in this house and she uses quite a bit of ice.  

When I come home from work, RT is in the kitchen filling up the ice cube trays.  I have to admit, I think he does it more than anyone else in this house.  Since I don't use that much ice I don't fill the trays as often.  And, if you ask Bella  the other person living in our house, she will tell you that she always fills the ice cube trays.

"I'm going to get a video camera to see who is using all of the ice."  

"You are going to have to sign out every cube of ice that you take from the freezer."

I use one cube a day to water a plant in our kitchen.  That was in the care instructions for the plant.  I was told that I will now have to sign for each ice cube that I take out for my plant. 

I'm all for being accountable for our ice usage, pitching in and filling trays.  I think all residents of this household every family member should jump in and help out with the strenuous activity of ice cube making.   Unfortunately the burden work to keep the ice box full has fallen upon one person.

I think I might have to push RT to make that YouTube instructional video.

Netflix

The problems started a couple of years ago.  It felt like every time I went on Netflix, someone else was watching at the same time.

A little background.  I signed up with Netflix when it first started.  They sent DVD's through the mail.  They moved into streaming.  I signed up for two streaming devices.  For years my children have asked me to upgrade the plan.  I refused because we only have two TV's.  Why should we upgrade?  Obviously this was before they had computers, tablets, phones, etc.  Flash forward ten years, a few more computers, tablets and kids moving out and only two screens for Netflix just isn't enough.  Unfortunately, someone, the one who is in charge of the Netflix account, refuses to upgrade to four screens!  

Let's dig a little deeper into this problem.

It is very rare for me to just sit down and watch TV.  I'm usually running around during the day.  If I do watch TV, it's usually at night.  One night, I was home, by myself (a rare occasion) and thought I would watch a movie on Netflix.  I logged in, found the movie, pressed "play movie" and get a little message that there are two people watching Netflix right now and do I want to upgrade to four screens?  Let's see.  No one is home and two other people are watching Netflix.  One "user" is my child who is at work.  I know he isn't watching Netflix at work, so, I shoot him a text.  To make a short story long, I find out that two of my kids were giving out our Netflix password to their friends.   

Hey, if you are paying for your Netflix and want to give out your password, then, that's great!  But, if you are paying for it and someone else is giving out your password and that someone else is telling you to upgrade your plan because all of their friends can't watch at the same time  then there's a little problem.

So,  I did  someone did what any normal person would do in this situation.  They changed the password.  When giving out the password to family members, "someone" stressed that this is for their use only.  

All was going smoothly until someone realized that they should probably upgrade the plan.  So, I that someone finally caved and quietly upgraded the plan to four screens and there hasn't been another Netflix problem.

Sunflowers

This Spring we decided to grow sunflowers from seed indoors.  Normally we grow them (from seed) when we plant the garden.  Unfortunately, the birds (or squirrels) start digging where we plant the seeds.  If they survive that and actually grow, then it's the rabbits that get them.  The rabbits think it is a free all you can eat salad bar and snack on the plants until there is nothing left.  It doesn't matter if I plant them in different spots around the house.  I'm lucky if a hand full of them actually grow.  We have learned a valuable lesson during all of this experience.  A good chicken wire fence keeps them safe from snacking rabbits.  This, of course, is all thanks to RT and his fence making business.

So, as I was saying, we started growing our sunflowers in the house.  RT became quite attached to the little guys.  Watering them, making sure they were getting enough sun, giving them pep talks.  He even set them outside a few times so they could get some wind training.  Oh, and he started calling them our children.  

When we planted our garden a couple of weeks ago, we planted half of the children  sunflowers.  RT would go out there daily to check on them and make sure they were adjusting to their new home.  I planted the rest of the children sunflowers out front.  I gave a couple of plants to the neighbor boy.  He was out front digging and I figured it would be fun for him to take care of during the summer.  I asked RT to put up a fence around the children out front,  so they don't get gobbled up by the rabbits.  I also mentioned that I gave a couple of the kids  sunflower plants to the neighbor.  RT put a fence around the neighbor's sunflowers and explained that we raised them like children.  

All the children  sunflowers are planted and are doing quite well in their new homes.   I'll keep you up to date periodically on their progress.   If you want frequent reports, I'm sure RT would be happy to fill you in with daily updates.

Quarantine Song List

I thought I would put together a list of songs that you can listen to during the quarantine nightmare.  I mean, as long as we are all stuck inside the house, why not have some music to listen to, am I right?  And, not just any music, songs that really touch on our whole quarantine situation.  I'm surprised I didn't come up with this list sooner!  We could have been listening to these songs for the last six weeks!  On the bright side, with a lot of states extending the quarantine (like good ol' Illinois), I think we all still have plenty of time to sit back and really get into these songs.

Let's get started, shall we?  Here's the list:

Livin' On a Prayer - Bon Jovi
Problem - Ariana Grande
Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash
Doom and Gloom - Rolling Stones
Let em In (Someone's Knocking on the Door) - Paul McCartney
HELP - The Beatles
Don't Stand So Close to Me - The Police
Land of Confusion - Genesis
A Day in the Life - The Beatles
Another One Bites the Dust - Queen
Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones
Don't Come Around Here No More - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson
Yesterday - The Beatles
Stay  Away - Nirvana
Time is on My Side - Rolling Stones
Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney
In the air Tonight - Phil Collins
Inside - Van Halen
Home - Phillip Phillips


If you feel like you have been home too long, you might want to consider adding these songs to your playlist:

Aqua Lung - Jethro Tull
Man In The Mirror - Michael Jackson
Cry, Cry, Cry - Johnny Cash
Feeling That Way - Journey
Delirious - Prince
Somebody Get Me a Doctor - Van Halen
Scream  - Michael Jackson

If I missed any songs that you feel should make the list, leave me a message in the comments.

Happy Listening!

Napkin Snobs

I've mentioned numerous times about RT and his napkin hoarding tendencies.  (If you need a refresher, you can search napkin hoarder on the blog and read up on RT and his napkin hoarding adventures)  I make fun of his hoarding tendencies, but, they have come in handy.  From family parties, hikes we have taken, beach trips, etc.  We have benefited from having these napkins on hand.

At home, we use cloth napkins.  And, before you contact the CDC, we don't share these napkins or reuse someone else's napkin.  Also, these napkins do get washed (quite often).

During one of our meals together as a family, I brought out some paper napkins.  We didn't have any clean cloth napkins and we have a large stash of paper napkins in the cabinet (Thanks to RT).  I thought I was doing something good.  You know, using up some of the millions many saved paper napkins that RT  we have collected over the years.  Instead of praise from my family, I received complaints about the quality of the napkins. 

"What are these supposed to be?" 
"These are too thin!" 

Even RT said he wouldn't take these napkins (well, how do you think I got these in the first place?).    I realized then and there that my family have become napkin snobs.

I have to mention that all of my children have been watching RT hoard napkins over the years.  They even encourage him by pointing out the good quality napkins.  A couple of them have started their own napkin collections.

I know these napkins are thin, but, I have a feeling that when we run out of toilet paper, these napkins are going to look really good to everyone. 

Coconut Water

This post is dedicated to my best friend, Patti.

Many years ago, we were at a grocery store and they were handing out samples of coconut water.  Bella was excited and wanted to try it.  We both took the small sample and thanked the person.  We tried the coconut water.  We wanted this to be a great experience where we would fall in love with coconut water and live happily ever after.  Unfortunately, that didn't happen.  It took us quite awhile to drink the tiny small sample that they gave us.  We decided that we aren't coconut water people.

I got to hang out with my friend Patti the other day and she forced me  made me  suggested I give coconut water another try.  It was a small bottle.  I figured that I can be sophisticated and survive drinking this small amount of coconut water, right?  Patti finished her water in no time.  I sat there smiling and pretending  sipping away.  At one point, Patti asked me how I like the coconut water.  In my highest pitched voice ever I answered, "It's good.  I like it."

When I got home, I was telling RT about the coconut water.  His response?

"Did it give you diarrhea?"

Me:  No.  Why?  Does coconut water give you diarrhea?

Apparently when RT was in Honduras, one of the Dads drank coconut water from the coconut and he got diarrhea.  RT said it didn't affect him (he was drinking it with rum).  (the things my husband remembers....)

I will definitely have to give coconut water another try.  Maybe on my next visit with Patti!  I will bring a secret supply of rum.  To help prevent diarrhea, of course!

My Toe

On Monday night, I made my way through the dining room so I could close the curtains in the living room.  As I was doing this, I stubbed my toe on the box for the computer charging cable that is connected to RT's computer.

This is a sore subject.  I'm not sure why the computer has to be on the dining room table and it's ALWAYS plugged in.  The chair at the table is always out and away from the table.  An accident waiting to happen.

I thought it was a stubbed toe (I can deal with that).  In the morning, my toe was purple and swollen.  I believe most women get pedicures as a present from their husbands on their birthday.  Not me.  I got some X-rays, a purple toe and a special shoe to wear on my birthday.

I know you're jealous.  And, I'll spare you the pictures.  Let's hope that RT remembers to bring home some alcohol to numb the pain.

Thanks, honey!

The Tile Story

There's this house that I walk past on my usual route.  Back in October we had a really windy day and the back part of the fence on this house fell.

I realize when this happens that it can take a few days to get out there and do something about your fence.  We have experienced it with our fence in the past (Let me tell you, it's a pain when you have a dog).

Several weeks passed and the fence was finally taken off the path and moved from the yard.  In December, some new posts were put in the ground.  They even have some supports around the posts to make sure they stay straight.

It is now March and the posts, with the supports, are still there.  Untouched.

This reminded me of a story.

My Uncle George purchased some tiles for his house (to be put in the kitchen or bathroom).  He left them in the garage.  One day, he brought them in and put them by the furnace.  He told my Aunt that the tiles had to warm up before he could install them.  Two years later, my Aunt asked, "Do you think the tiles have warmed up?"

As I walked by the fence house the other day, I was thinking that the spouse probably looks out at the fence posts and asks, "Do you think the cement has cured on those posts?"

The Plastic Plate

We have a set of (red) plastic plates that I purchased over ten years ago.  I bought them so we could use them when we ate dinner outside.  They are great with little kids.  They are lighter, easier to carry and will not break if the kids drop them.  We used them on and off switching off with regular ceramic plates.

For some reason, I saved these plates.  They are used when we run out of dinner plates.  The only problem is they have to be hand washed.  They are also really, really thin plastic, so, I don't feel comfortable putting hot food on them.

RT was putting dinner together and grabbed a couple of plates.  He hands me a plastic plate full of hot food.  I hesitated and probably cringed when I took the plate from him.  He was worried I didn't like the food.  I then had to confess my hot food on a plastic plate phobia  issue.  Well, I also don't like to add more dishes to the millions of things that I hand wash every day.  It's nice to be able to put an item into the dishwasher.

RT finds it a little strange (of course, everything with me he finds strange, so, I'm sure this isn't a completely new thing for him).  He has no problem putting hot food onto these plates and then eating off of them.  In fact I notice that he has been using these plates more and more since I brought up the plastic plate phobia  issue.  He uses it for lunch (hot or cold food).  He had to thaw out some drumsticks and put them on a plastic plate (we had a cabinet full of regular dishes that could have been used).  I'm not sure if he's using them because they are there and I won't use them?  Or if he is trying to prove something (like I'm crazy...even though we all know that answer).

So, my question to you is, do you have plastic plates?

Do you want a set of six red, flimsy plastic plates?

Would you eat hot food off of a really thin plastic plate?

Jennifer

Bella recently performed in a dance competition.  I did my best at trying to fit in with all of the "dance Moms."  I packed lots of healthy snacks for her to munch on during the weekend and was there to make sure she drank a lot of water.

During the first break, I was told to bring lots of snacks.  All snacks that were purchased and packed for this trip were approved by the child.  I packed a nice bag full with a huge assortment of snacks and made my way over to our meeting spot.  I was happy to see her (I wish I could say the feeling was mutual).  I set up some of the snacks, talked up the others and in return received a turned up nose to everything.  I told her she needs protein and she replied that fatty foods are better for her body.  She requested a meal from a fast food restaurant.  (Yea, they aren't giving me a kick back, so, I'm not mentioning a name).

While ordering at this restaurant, they told me that I would have to wait 10 minutes and asked for a name.

I need to pause my story here for a moment.

I always hesitate to give out my name.  It's different and people always have a hard time spelling and pronouncing it.  Sometimes I give my daughter's name.  The majority of the time I say it's RT.  I wish they would just give out a number instead.

OK.  Lets continue with my story.

So, I gave RT's name for the order.

Ten minutes pass and a guy starts calling out, "Jennifer."  He's looking all over for Jennifer.  Walks around the restaurant then heads back behind the counter.  A few more minutes pass and he is back, calling for "Jennifer."  The whole time I'm thinking, why would Jennifer order something, pay for it and then leave with out her food?  Who is this Jennifer?

Another five minutes pass and a woman grabs the order and goes around looking for Jennifer.  After she circles the restaurant a couple of times, I show her my receipt and ask where I can find the name on my order.

There was no name on it, but, guess what?

It turns out, I'm Jennifer!

It reminded me of one of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld, the Chinese restaurant.  George gives the host his name, Costanza, and they all stand around waiting forever for a table.  Throughout the episode, the host will call out, "Cartwright?"  At the end of the episode, George figures it out and replies, "Apparently, I am Cartwright."

Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?

Well?  Do you?

No.  I'm not really asking that question.  I already know the answer.

I've mentioned in a previous post about the music that's played at work.  Mostly country music songs with a few pop songs tossed in for fun.  One song that is played every single day I work is a remake of Rod Stewart's, "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy."

Now, I like Rod Stewart.  Not a crazy fan, but, I enjoy listening to his music.  Always thought that this song was one of his crazy, "out there"  songs.

When this song starts playing, I always try to figure out how it fits in with the country music songs that usually play.  Why this song?  I also wonder how many of the young kids that work there know who Rod Stewart is?  I know one of my co-workers has no idea who Rod Stewart is, because I asked him when this song was playing.

So, after hearing this song every day, I got it stuck in my head.  It plays in my head on repeat over and over again.  I'm constantly hearing Rod Stewart asking me if I think he's sexy.  I have even started to hum this song out loud.

Last night, as I was helping Bella make Valentines (for seniors), I told RT about the whole scenario.  Rod Stewart's song being played at work and how I can't get the song out of my head.  I just got a strange look back as a reply.  I said I might have to start singing it.  I got a look that suggested I better not belt out the lyrics.

When the Valentine making finished, and both RT and Bella left the room, I decided to play the song and sing along.  Hoping this will get the song out of my head.

As I was really getting into it, singing and dancing, RT walks in and says, "I leave you alone for five minutes and this is what happens."

So, here I am, sitting here, quietly typing away while Rod Stewart asks me over and over again,  if I think he's sexy.

Cherry Juice

I picked Bella up from dance the other night.  As she was getting into the car, I told her that we had to stop at the grocery store on the way home to pick up cherry juice for RT.

Bella:  Cherry juice?  What?  Is he menstruating or something?  Does he have cravings now?  Why does he need cherry juice?

Cherry juice was recommended by (our neighbor) for RT's hip.  Why cherry juice?  Why not cranberry or apple juice?   Well, cherry juice is what was recommended and it works for him.  We thought it was one of those odd remedies that friends or family members throw at you that works for them.  In fact, I'm not sure RT was going to try it.  How can drinking cherry juice help his hip?

So, I had to do some research.  I looked up cherry juice to see what information I could find.  I was pretty surprised at what I found and thought I would share it with you.

Cherry juice is a great post work out drink.  It maintains blood pressure, hydration, muscle recovery, digestion, heart rate and ph balance.

Cherry juice fights inflammation and arthritis pain.  Just what RT needs.

Cherry juice reduces inflammation and swelling.

Cherry juice boosts immunity and fights infection.

Cherry juice regulates metabolism (and can fight fat).

Cherry juice helps you sleep.  A study suggests that tart cherry juice as insomnia medications on older adults. 

Cherry juice reduces growth of cancer cells.

I guess I shouldn't be that surprised.  It's natural, not man made or full of chemicals.

It was odd that our neighbor brought over a bottle of cherry juice for RT to try.  He highly recommended it and said he drinks it all of the time.  Like I said, it felt like another one of those crazy things someone asks you to try that works for them.  RT didn't seem to be crazy about trying it, so, I put the bottle in the basement refrigerator.

The sad part of the story is that I brought the bottle out after our neighbor passed away.  I thought RT should give the cherry juice a try.  I mean, it came highly recommended, why not try it?

The happy part is that the cherry juice is working for RT's hip.  I have now made sure that he does not run out of cherry juice.

Thank you, Sim, for helping RT and his hip with your cherry juice suggestion.
You were right.  It works.
Miss you, neighbor!

Shoe Hoarder

I know I have mentioned in various blog posts about RT and his shoes.  I'll try to fill you in if you missed all of the shout outs  to his shoe hoarding  collection.

Over the years, I have noticed the growing number of shoes that RT has accumulated.  Yes, that includes Dead Guy Shoes.  The shoes have been gathering dust  accumulating by the front door, in the front hall closet and the basement closet.  I find that the shoe obsession  collection is a sore spot.  I ask that the shoes that haven't been worn in the last twenty years  be donated.  Seems reasonable, right?  Unfortunately, this suggestion is not happily received.

Once in a great while, RT will go through his shoes and part with one pair.  We are talking once every five or ten years.

This past summer, we were going through our house and getting rid of things.  I carefully approached RT about his shoe collection.  RT did oblige and three pairs left the house.

Last weekend, RT told me that he needed a new pair of running shoes.  Bella overheard this request for another pair of shoes and immediately said, "No!  You don't need any more shoes.  You have more shoes than Mom and I put together."

They both agreed that RT would get rid of one pair of shoes for every pair purchased.

On the way home from the store, RT was telling me how he recently got rid of a pair of shoes.  Just tossed them in the garbage.  I'm not quite sure if I believe him.  I think he's just saying this so he doesn't have to go through with the whole process of letting go a pair of shoes.

By the way, this all happened last weekend and no shoes have been tossed from our house.