Karen Stories

 Time for some more retail entertainment  Karen Stories.  This is where I get to share some of the weird  scary  strange  odd  interesting stories from my awful  frightening  fun retail job.

Today we start off with a customer asking an odd question.  I know, I know.  There are no stupid questions.  But, what do you say when someone asks you,  "Do your dressing rooms work?"  I wasn't exactly sure how I should respond to this question.  Is it a trick question, like the ones you use when you prank call someone, "Is your refrigerator running?  Better go catch it!"  ha ha ha.  Or is this question coming from a labor group wanting to know if the dressing rooms are showing up and performing their job?  Maybe the dressing rooms are going to form a union?  Do you see how this can be a little confusing?

I answered the phone at work the other day.  The caller was looking for children's snow pants.  I explained that we had quite the selection on the floor.  He told me that he would come in and have a little "looky loo."  

Let's not forget about my credit card inquiries.  We are told to ask customers to sign up with the company credit card.  Nothing like asking someone if they would like to add some debt to their life.  I don't get many people who willingly sign up for the card.  I get quite a few "No" answers.  Some are short and sweet and others a little rude.  The perk of signing up for the card is you can save money on that day's purchase.  When a customer has a large purchase, I do ask and let them know their savings for that order.  One day I asked a customer to sign up, the husband's response was, "We're not credit card people."  When I gave them the total dollar amount for their order, the wife whips out her credit card to pay the bill.  

And, one more story to let you know that retail people have a sense of humor.

My coworker realized that she was going to be sole cashier after I left for the day.  She asked me to cover the register while she takes a quick bathroom break.  Unfortunately we had a real long line of customers.  My coworker was getting uncomfortable and the line was getting longer.  I suggested she call up a back up and have him take her place.  When the back up appears, the line was gone and my coworker tells him, "I have to pee."  Without missing a beat he says, "I'm so glad that you called me up here to tell me that information."  

Retail Problems

 Another dose of the retail life for you.  Sometimes you get to laugh at work.

At work, we have to wear walkie talkies.  It's great when you have a question.  Someone can chime in with a quick response.  Of course, there are times when you ask a question and the line goes dead.  Either your message didn't go through or no one has an answer.

One day a coworker was looking for a chair to use while doing markdowns.  Sometimes it's a lot easier to sit down when you have to scan a lot of items close to the ground.  Over the walkie talkie, she asked, "Has anyone seen the scooty chair?"  Apparently, she did not speak clearly and there was a reply, "Booty chair?  Aren't they all booty chairs?  You have to sit your booty down in the chair."  All of us had a good laugh.  When my coworker finally replied, she made sure to enunciate and say, "Scooty chair."  

On another day, we had a furry visitor in the store.  I'm sure I have mentioned that our store is dog friendly.  We get quite a few furry visitors during the week.  On this day, the "visitor" made a little mess.  The manager was not very happy about it.  Apparently this dog visits quite often and always does his business in the store.  The manager took to the walkie talkie and said that there is a "clean up" in the pet aisle and to bring paper towels, a bag and a mop.  She went on a rant and explained how this customer always brings her dog in when it clearly has to do it's business.  After her rant, another employee said, "So, Cocoa visited us and left us a little biscuit?"

Retail Problems

Some little ditties from my lovely job in retail.

There are many stories of my time as greeter.  My favorite is the guy who winked at me.  I'm not sure if there was something in his eye or if it was a nervous tic.  This guy walked in, behind his wife, and as he walked by he said hello and winked at me.  I found it odd and thought that it might have been a mistake, but, he winked at me again as he followed his wife out of the store.   A habit or is he a flirt?  

There was the time when this woman came in wearing dirty purple gloves.  She grabbed a cart and did some shopping.  Even made a purchase.  A few hours later I saw her enter the store to do an exchange.  She was still wearing the same dirty purple gloves.

My favorite story happened the other day.  I was ringing up a customer and gave her the total.  She reaches into her purse, starts digging around, moves away from the counter and then says (loudly), "I can't find my wallet.  SOMEBODY STOLE IT!"   I didn't know what to say.  I wasn't with her in the store and it looked like her bag was closed when she got up to the register.  How did someone steal her wallet without her knowing about it?  She steps toward the counter again and looks in her purse and calmly says, "Oh.  There it is"  and pulls the wallet out of her purse.  I almost burst out laughing and was quite grateful that I was wearing a face mask.  I wanted to know if she was related to RT* but didn't have the courage to ask.

*check out these posts for a backstory on people stealing RT's stuff : goggles, phone, hiking gloves.

When You Work in Retail

 I have a few more funny weird  strange  stories to record.  Just some interesting incidents that happened at work that can't be classified as Karen stories.  I found them to be amusing and thought I would share them with you.  Here we go:

During my stint as a Walmart greeter:

A customer walks in to the store.

Me:  Hello.  How are you?

Customer: Right now?

Me:  Sure.  How are you right now?

Customer:  I don't know.  And, I don't think I want to know.

A customer walks into the store:

Me:  Hello

Customer:  Thank you.

A customer walks into the store.

Me:  Hello

Customer:  No kissing because of Covid.

Me:  I'm not afraid of Covid.

Same customer as he's leaving, handing me his shopping cart:

Customer:  Now, remember, no licking the carts.

Me:  Aww, you just ruined my fun for the day!

Every week like clockwork, there is a woman who pulls up and hauls a large trash bag (or three) and tosses it into the public trash can in front of our store.  She drives a nice SUV so I'm assuming she has a home.  I'm not sure what the attraction she has with public dumping.  Does she get a thrill from it?  Maybe she's trying to hide something?  A shopping addiction?  Scratch off tickets?  An addiction?  A drinking problem?  Corn nut addiction?

A woman came in to the store, her first time visiting.  I started describing the store to her.  She told me that she wanted to discover the store on her own.  As she was leaving, I noticed she made a purchase.  I told her I was happy she found something today.  She told me I was very sweet and if I say the word, she will go get me a cup of coffee.  I politely declined and thanked her and told her that she was my new best friend.

And, I will leave you with this last story.

I was at the register and asked the customer to press the red button on the pin pad.  The customer told me that he didn't want to press the button because of germs (we have hand sanitizer and we clean the pin pads between customers).  When I tell him the total of his purchase he pulls out his wallet and proceeds to hand me dirty  cash to pay for his transaction.  He told me to keep the change ($0.01) and left without using any hand sanitizer. 

Karen Stories

 It's been awhile since I have posted Karen stories here.  I thought I would piece together some of the stories that I have collected over the last 6 months.  I write these down in my phone notes.  They are weird experiences that I feel I have to look over at a later time and really think about what actually happened in this situation.   Enjoy.

I had a customer who wanted to return worn clothes.   He claimed that they don't fit anymore.  I almost suggested that he should look into losing weight, but, I wanted to keep my job.

This one guy came in and purchased a few items.  We got to talking and it turns out that he is visiting the area on business.  He has a brother who lives here and comes into this store when he is in town.  We got to talking and it turns out he is from Green Bay.  He came back into the store the next day to return some items and we talked a little more.  When I mentioned this to a co-worker she said, is that the guy with the tattoo?  I said I didn't check to see if he had a tattoo.  She said that she waited on him yesterday.  Apparently he took off his shirt and tried another shirt right there at the register.  

Masks are mandatory inside stores in our state.  We provide free masks if the customer does not have one.  We can not force a customer to wear a mask.  The customer I was waiting on was not wearing a mask.  We have shields at our register and I was wearing a mask.  The customer at the next register yelled, "Nice mask!"  My customer said, "Thanks."  The other customer then said, "I hope you get it!" ("it" refers to Covid)  There were some other choice words that were said, but, I think you get how this went down.

There is a point during a transaction where I tell the customer to press the red button.  I can't tell you how many people have pressed the green button.  I don't know what to say about this one.  Poor listening skills?  Unable to see the color green?  I don't know.

I work in a clothing store.  I had a customer ask me if we do cash back.  I believe I grocery stores are the only ones that give cash back.

A customer called the store and wanted to know when she will receive the credit for her return.  According to the customer, all of the other stores give the credit right away.  I explained that I have worked at other retail stores and have shopped as a customer at stores and credits always take longer than a charge on your card, sometimes 7-10 days.  I told her that she can contact her bank and ask when they will post the credit.  She then informed me that she will not be shopping at our store anymore because she does not get her money back fast enough.

I had a customer come up to the register wearing disposable gloves.  She tosses a paper onto the counter and looks at me.  I guess I was supposed to know what she wanted by her actions.  I was a jerk asked her what was on the paper.  It turns out it was an "in store" pick up.  I'm not sure why she was wearing the gloves to hold the piece of paper that she printed at home.  If she didn't want to hold it, I certainly wasn't going to touch that paper!

I had a woman argue with me that it wasn't 30 days on a return and that the store should change that.  It seems that she forgot that some months have 31 days and others have 30 days.

And, finally,

A customer walks in and I say hello.  The customer immediately raises his hands and says, "I've been squirted so many times today."  I said, well, if you want, I can get the cleaning fluid out and spray you again.  The next customer said, "That was weird.  I bet you could write a book!"  I said, "I sure could!"

Karen Stories

 It's that time, kids.  Time for me to share a lovely experience that I have had with a Karen.

I honestly didn't believe that there were that many Karens in the world.  I also thought I would only encounter them at work.  Little did I know that Karens take vacations.

I encountered this Karen a couple of weeks ago at a restaurant.  Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, the restaurant had a limited menu:  pizza and salads.  We ordered a pizza and a couple of salads.

As we were waiting for our meal to arrive, we engaged in some small talk.  Well, also, we were eavesdropping on other peoples conversations.  Particularly the people behind RT. 

Apparently, they ordered a pizza and were told it would be out in 45 minutes.  The time had passed and they were still waiting.  In fact, another table got their food and they ordered after this couple.  Karen  The woman was doing all of the complaining  talking.  Here husband was just sitting there, silent.

Karen asked the waitress about the pizza, and, of course, went into all the lengthy details about waiting.  The waitress came back and apologized and said that it would be out shortly.  Karen couldn't leave it alone and continued her tirade while the husband sat quietly.  When the waitress left their table, Karen yelled at her husband for not saying anything.  The did receive their food.  And, then the b    ill came.  Karen went into action and did not want to pay for a second topping (she had two toppings on her pizza).  She did not want to pay the $2.00 for the extra topping (yes, $2.00 and she had two toppings).  The waitress said that she would pay it.  Karen wasn't having that.  She wanted it removed from the bill.  The waitress said that she would pay the entire bill (just to shut her up).  The waitress was in tears.  Karen wasn't letting up.  I couldn't take it much more so I reached in my wallet and gave the waitress $5 to pay for their topping.  I even apologized that Karen made her cry.  I'm sorry that I didn't say something to Karen.

Hey, if you go out to eat, expect that it's going to cost money.  And, to get in an argument with a waitress over $2.00?  And, the waitress, who probably makes less than minimum wage, offers to pay your bill and you still yell at her?  Maybe you should just stay home.  If you stay home, I think you (and the rest of the world) will be a lot happier if you do.

Karen Stories

Time for another installment of Karen Stories.  A time when I can share my wonderful  lovely  scary  retail experiences with you.  

I keep thinking I will run out of stories, but, then I go to work and a Karen inspires me to write another post.  

Todays story is about face masks.  Face masks are required in stores, businesses, restaurants and grocery stores in the state of Illinois.  You are required to wear one, but, most places do not enforce it.  Masks are required in our store, but, we are not allowed to enforce this rule.  We were told to call a manager if a problem arises.  It's pretty common knowledge.  Put a mask on when you enter a store.  There are signs on the doors telling you to wear a mask when entering.  I really didn't think that masks would be a problem when we opened in June.  People were wearing them at other stores when they were shopping.  It wasn't a new thing.

A couple of week ago, I get a customer that starts telling me about an unmasked customer in the store (oh, the horror!).  I assured her that we require masks in our store, but, unfortunately (or fortunately) we can not enforce this policy.  She told me, "That's OK.  I approached her and told her to put on a mask.  And can you believe it?  She told me that she doesn't have to wear one because she is not sick!"    There wasn't much I could do, so I just sympathized with her.

The other day, I had a customer come up to me and asked if I was the manager.  I said no.  This customer starts telling me about some people in the front of our store that were unmasked.  OK, Karen.

I told her that we can not, as an employee, enforce the mask policy.  I did call a manager for her to complain to to speak to about the unmasked heathens  customers.   

Have you confronted other shoppers in a store?  

Have you told another customer to put on a mask? 

Karen Stories

I thought I would amuse everyone with another Karen story from my daily retail life.

I get to experience real life Karens every day and I thought it would be fun to share my experiences with you, because, why should I keep these gems all to myself?  

So, sometimes the customer is crabby and wants to speak to a manager.  I think there is a better word out there for the word crabby.  I can't think of it, can you?  And, well, sometimes the customer is just, well?  There really isn't a nice way to put it.  Sometimes, the customer is just ....  a psycho!

Remember, this is soon after the end of quarantine, when we re-opened the store back in the beginning of June.  So, these customers have been cooped up for almost three months with little to no social interaction.  Scary, right?  

By the way, feel free to comment on this (and all other Karen) posts.  I would love to hear your reaction!

OK.  Here we go!

I had a customer who was returning bear spray.  We have outdoor gear and bear spray is used by campers and hikers.  It's pretty strong and, well, used on bears.  Thus the name....bear spray.  Well, this customer told me that he purchased the bear spray so he could use it on people.  

Now, remember, it's bear spray.  It's specifically made for bears.  That is why it's called bear spray.  

The customer told me that he called the police and asked them if he could use the bear spray on people.  The police told him not to use it on people and that he could be sued.  He really wanted to use the bear spray so that he could, "Spray people dead."  Since he found out that he can't do that, spray people dead, he has to return the spray.  

I don't think that three months in quarantine was enough for this guy.  He could probably just stay in quarantine for a really long time.  

I know I wouldn't want to get on Bear Spray guys bad side.  Would you?

Karen Stories

I have mentioned on numerous occasions about my retail job.  Let me tell you, working with the public can be very interesting.  Along with working retail, you get to experience real, live Karen situations.

I have accumulated quite a few stories since I returned to work after quarantine and thought I would occasionally share them here with you.  In retail, you get the super nice, kind customers, along with the crabby, impatient customers.  And, of course, the customers who go shopping just so they can pick a fight with someone.

And now, after quarantine, people have been stuck in their houses for so long with little to no social interaction, retail has been pretty interesting.  Well, I will try not to bore you.  Although, I'm sure you will find some of these stories amusing. 

Oh, and feel free to comment.  I would love to hear your reaction!

OK, here we go...

The first week back at work we had some really strange people.

I had a customer come to my register with clothes that she wanted to purchase.  I started ringing them up and she asks me about our return policy.  The fitting rooms are closed so people can not try on the clothes in the store.  I told her that she has thirty days to return the items, with the tags on and with a receipt.  She asks me: 

Customer:  "Can I wash the clothes, then wear them, then wash them again and then wear them and wash them and then return them?"

I'm thinking, so, you want to try them out for six months or just the summer season, if they don't fit your style, or the weather changes or you gain or lose weight, then you will return them?  Sure!  No problem!  

But, of course, I can't say any of that....

So, I had to tell her that if you wear and wash the clothes, then they are yours to keep.  We can't sell clothes that have been worn.  She did tell me that other stores let her do this (return clothes that she has worn and washed).  I almost asked for the names of those stores so I could avoid shopping there in the future.

Have you ever worn clothes and returned them to the store?

Karen

I'm sure you have heard about the world of Karens.  Karen is a name given to a customer who is difficult and anyone who demands to speak to a manager to voice a complaint.  Karen's are mostly in retail with some in restaurants.  We get a few Karens where I work.

It's been busy at work, people are finally able to get out of their house and exercise their right to shop.  I've been working everyday, so no one is home supervising RT.  I come home one day and RT says, "I'm a Karen."  I thought, great.  Your wife works retail and tells you about all of her Karen experiences.  You should be able to recognize those behaviors as unacceptable.  I needed more information, so I asked him to explain what happened.

RT was looking out in front of our house and saw some guy taking pictures of the houses on our street.  After he turned to take a picture of our house, RT thought the guy was casing the neighborhood and decided to run outside to confront him.  By the time RT caught up with him, he was halfway down our street.  RT finds out that this guy is employed by the assessor's office and is told to take pictures of the houses so they can update their files.  RT became a little pushy because he didn't believe him.  The guy didn't have a business card, so RT told him he was going to call the assessor's office to see if he is telling the truth.

To make a short story long, the guy was telling the truth.  RT hopped on his bike to find the guy so he could apologize.  He rode around our entire neighborhood for about 20 minutes.  Unfortunately, he was unable to locate him.  He felt bad about giving the poor guy a hard time.

I leave RT alone for a few hours and he turns into a Karen!

I'm scheduled just about everyday for the next couple of weeks.  I have a feeling I'm going to be coming home to more scary stories.