Stay Safe

We have all heard those words.  For the last three months, just about everyone has either uttered those words or heard someone tell them to "stay safe."  

It started with the quarantine order.

Stay home.

Stay Safe.

Once in awhile, they would add:

Stay healthy.

Save Lives.

I understand the, "stay home," part, but, "Stay Safe?"  Do you think I'm going to run around with pointy objects because I'm now in my home without any supervision?  If you don't remind me to stay safe, will I forget and do something stupid?  What if I'm not safe when you tell me this, do I continue on as I normally would, even though it might not be safe or in a safe manner?  And, most importantly, do people need to be told to be safe?  Isn't safe something that people want to be every day?  Are we that forgetful that we need to be reminded every minute of every day?  "Oh, I was going to do something reckless, but the person on television told me to, "Stay Safe," 

I wrote this while I was on break at work.  When I got back to the register, I had a customer who told me how grateful she was that we were here.  I figured she meant the location of the store.  She continued, "I'm so glad you are here.  I'm glad that you came to work today."  

Me:  Oh.  Thank you.

Customer:  Thank you for putting your life on the line.  

Me, not sure what to say:  You're welcome.

Customer, as she was leaving the register:  Thank you and stay safe.

Me:  OK.  I will.

Customer:  No, really.  Stay safe!

And, guess what?

My thoughts of running around the store with a pair of scissors instantly disappeared!

Spider!

I walked out of my bedroom and heard talking coming from the kid's bathroom.  I peeked in and saw both Alex and Bella in the bathroom looking on the floor by the toilet.  When I asked what was going on, I was told that they were trying to kill a spider.

First, a little background.

When I had boys, I thought that they would be OK with killing spiders for me.  I mean, they are boys, right?  Instead, I had one child who liked animals and would not kill the spider and the other child who was absolutely terrified of spiders.   So much for that idea.

Time passes and Bella joins the family.  She likes animals but seems to have no problem killing spiders.  In fact,  one night I hear, "Bella, can you come and kill a spider?" And Bella responds, "I'll be right there."  I asked what was going on and it turns out that Alex had Bella killing spiders for him.  If you haven't figured it out by now, he is the one that screams like a girl when he sees a spider.  The funny thing is, Bella didn't mind doing it.  She would leave her room and go into Alex's bedroom just to kill a spider for him.  She would then leave the room and tell him that she killed it (he would be waiting in the hallway).  Of course, this situation did not last very long.  Bella got tired of having to drop everything and save her brother's life  and kill a spider for her brother. 

 

Back to the story.  

Once again, Bella was the one hired to murder  in charge of the spider's fate.  Alex told me that they have an agreement and that they take turns killing the spiders they find in the bathroom.  Bella responded, "It seems like it's always my turn to kill the spider!"

I guess if it works for them, I'm not going to get in the middle of their agreement.

Karen Stories

I have mentioned on numerous occasions about my retail job.  Let me tell you, working with the public can be very interesting.  Along with working retail, you get to experience real, live Karen situations.

I have accumulated quite a few stories since I returned to work after quarantine and thought I would occasionally share them here with you.  In retail, you get the super nice, kind customers, along with the crabby, impatient customers.  And, of course, the customers who go shopping just so they can pick a fight with someone.

And now, after quarantine, people have been stuck in their houses for so long with little to no social interaction, retail has been pretty interesting.  Well, I will try not to bore you.  Although, I'm sure you will find some of these stories amusing. 

Oh, and feel free to comment.  I would love to hear your reaction!

OK, here we go...

The first week back at work we had some really strange people.

I had a customer come to my register with clothes that she wanted to purchase.  I started ringing them up and she asks me about our return policy.  The fitting rooms are closed so people can not try on the clothes in the store.  I told her that she has thirty days to return the items, with the tags on and with a receipt.  She asks me: 

Customer:  "Can I wash the clothes, then wear them, then wash them again and then wear them and wash them and then return them?"

I'm thinking, so, you want to try them out for six months or just the summer season, if they don't fit your style, or the weather changes or you gain or lose weight, then you will return them?  Sure!  No problem!  

But, of course, I can't say any of that....

So, I had to tell her that if you wear and wash the clothes, then they are yours to keep.  We can't sell clothes that have been worn.  She did tell me that other stores let her do this (return clothes that she has worn and washed).  I almost asked for the names of those stores so I could avoid shopping there in the future.

Have you ever worn clothes and returned them to the store?

Fun National Days in July

I don't know how I always forget to post these days earlier in the month.  I promise to work on my timing so you can better prepare yourself for these fun holidays.

Here are my fun National Days picks for July:

July 10  National Pina Colada Day

Pina Colada means strained pineapple.  This, of course, references the pineapple juice used in the drink.  Pina Coladas remind us of sunshine and vacation.  The coconut makes us think of suntans.  If you can't go on vacation, just hang out on your back deck and drink a pina colada.  

July 11  National Blueberry Muffin Day

Yes.  Time to make your niece some blueberry muffins so she can enjoy this day.  (Don't worry.  He knows this is directed to him.  Right, Steve?)

It's also

National Mojito Day

Let's raise a glass today for National Mojito Day!  The Mojito consists of white rum, sugar, lime juice, sparkling water and mint.  Today would be a great day to make a pitcher of Mojito's and hang outside!

Oh, and don't forget, it's also

National 7-Eleven Day

Today is a beautiful (and hot) day to celebrate the slurpee!  Check with your local 7-Eleven store to see if they are giving away free slurpies today.  Be prepared to wait in line.

July 14  National Nude Day

Celebrated naturally by Nudists (aka Naturists).  And, there's no extra laundry involved!  Enjoy an open air bath today.  That is when you sit naked in a room by a window and let the air drift around you.  Great way to save water!  If you decide to participate, make sure you are at home or a nudist colony because I am not bailing you out of jail!  Oh, and don't forget to wear sunscreen!

July 19  National Ice Cream Day

At least I don't have to make ice cream at work today.  I can just stay at home and celebrate with some dairy free ice cream.

It is also:

National Daiquiri Day

Well, if we celebrated the Pina Colada, we MUST participate in Daiquiri Day.  It would be so much fun if I just lived by a beach!

July 20  National Get Out of the Dog House Day

When you are "in the dog house," that means that you have fallen out of favor with someone, usually your spouse or significant other.  If you are the one in the dog house, talk to the person, face to face.  Send a handwritten note, chocolates or flowers.  If you are keeping someone else in the dog house, it's time to let 'em out!  (Today is your lucky day, RT! )

July 23  National Vanilla Ice Cream Day

And, my other brother will be celebrating big on this day!  Can you believe that Vanilla ice cream is the second most popular flavor in America?  How will you celebrate?  Hot fudge?  Carmel?  Sprinkles?  I know that "I'll take the vanilla," with some sprinkles.

July 24  National Tequila Day

Mix up a little margarita or, just do a shot (or three).  I really need to live by a beach.  "Hey, honey, we need more Tequila so we can celebrate National Tequila Day!"  (I'm being serious.  We are out of Tequila!)

July 26 National Aunt and Uncle's Day

Time to celebrate your favorite Aunt and Uncles today.  We are the ones that fill you in on the funny things that your mom or dad did when they were young.  Send us a little note and let us know that you appreciate the laughs  funny  family stories.

July 31  National Avocado Day

Need I say more?  I mean, who doesn't love avocados?  Eat them plain, make guacamole, or try my Chocolate Avocado Chocolate Chip Cookies.  

today is also

National Mutt Day

A national day for everyone to celebrate my weird dog  mutt, Pippen.  How does he make it on every national day list?  It's also a great day to visit a shelter and adopt a mutt of your own.  

and it is

National Get Gnarly Day

Gnarly can mean bad or dangerous, but, in this situation it means exciting.  Surfers use this term to refer to the waves that they tackle.  Like surfers, let's all put some "gnarliness" into everything we do today!  

Different ways to add gnarliness to your life:

Try a new gnarly hobby.

Meet new gnarly people.

Find a new gnarly style (for yourself or your home)

Throw a gnarly party.

I know I'll be having some gnarly fun today!  "Gnarly, dude!"

It looks like it's going to be a fun month!

My Weird Dog

I think it's time for another My Weird Dog episode.

Pippen is enjoying the nice weather.  He likes to hang out on the back deck.  He would love to run back and forth in the yard like a crazy dog  frolic through the yard, but he does have a tendency to destroy the grass.  Most days you can find him lounging right by the house.  At some point, he decides to sunbathe on the lower deck.  If a dog walks by, he gets psycho  excited and runs back and forth, barks, then puts his paws on the railing so he can get a better look at the intruder.  

If you sneak a peak at Pippen from the kitchen door while he is lounging, he will give you a dirty look.  He doesn't like anyone bothering him while he is sleeping  working.  

One day, while I was hanging out on the deck, I noticed Pippen walk to the edge of the deck, sniff the ground, then eat some of the bird seed on the deck.  I mentioned this to the kids and was told that he does this throughout the day.  I think he worked out some kind of deal with the birds so he can enjoy a little snack whenever he feels like it.  He doesn't chase the birds away when they are at the feeder, in turn, they drop some bird seed on the ground for him to snack on. 

Yesterday, Alex noticed that there was a lot of bird seed on the deck.  He told Pippen he had some cleaning up to do.  

*luckily, this small amount of bird seed is not harmful to dogs.  

Barefoot

I believe I mentioned on one of my "Quarantine" updates how RT decided that he wasn't going to wear shoes.  I'm sure everyone thought that was funny.  Ha, Ha Ha.  RT isn't going to wear shoes.

Well, it really was true.

Me:  Why are you walking around barefoot?

RT:  I told you I'm not wearing shoes.

This went on for quite awhile, until, one day...RT starts complaining that his foot hurts.  Turns out, he had a sliver in the bottom of his foot.  (That's what happens when you don't wear shoes!)

After the splinter removal, I would find him using his phone camera to take pictures of the bottom of his foot.  Nothing like walking into the family room, or, even better, while you are watching a movie, and there's RT positioning his phone so he can take a picture of the bottom of his foot.  I was wondering who was going to be the lucky recipient of these pictures?  Can you imagine receiving this via text?  It turns out, this was his way of checking the healing progress.  Unfortunately, he did not get all of the splinter out the first time, so, emergency surgery  he had to dig out the rest.  The pictures continued for a short while to make sure the foot healed properly.

I'm hoping a lesson was learned, like, maybe, wear shoes!   

Karen

I'm sure you have heard about the world of Karens.  Karen is a name given to a customer who is difficult and anyone who demands to speak to a manager to voice a complaint.  Karen's are mostly in retail with some in restaurants.  We get a few Karens where I work.

It's been busy at work, people are finally able to get out of their house and exercise their right to shop.  I've been working everyday, so no one is home supervising RT.  I come home one day and RT says, "I'm a Karen."  I thought, great.  Your wife works retail and tells you about all of her Karen experiences.  You should be able to recognize those behaviors as unacceptable.  I needed more information, so I asked him to explain what happened.

RT was looking out in front of our house and saw some guy taking pictures of the houses on our street.  After he turned to take a picture of our house, RT thought the guy was casing the neighborhood and decided to run outside to confront him.  By the time RT caught up with him, he was halfway down our street.  RT finds out that this guy is employed by the assessor's office and is told to take pictures of the houses so they can update their files.  RT became a little pushy because he didn't believe him.  The guy didn't have a business card, so RT told him he was going to call the assessor's office to see if he is telling the truth.

To make a short story long, the guy was telling the truth.  RT hopped on his bike to find the guy so he could apologize.  He rode around our entire neighborhood for about 20 minutes.  Unfortunately, he was unable to locate him.  He felt bad about giving the poor guy a hard time.

I leave RT alone for a few hours and he turns into a Karen!

I'm scheduled just about everyday for the next couple of weeks.  I have a feeling I'm going to be coming home to more scary stories.